I’m not Trying to do anything to hurt you, but I’m not looking to get hurt in the process.
When in my first business I learned from a lot of great great GREAT people. These were people who changed the essence of who I was and have contributed in a major way to who I am and how I can contribute to the world. It was, and still is a great ride.
The absolute best line I’ve ever learned, for anything really: “I’m not trying to do anything to hurt you, but I’m not looking to get hurt in the process.”
This pretty much works on any level. Especially well with those who feel or actually do have power over you in a situation that involves negotiation of some kind. Business owners, their management team or some other type of adversary, your wife/husband, your business partner(s), employees, the garbage man, whoever, the line works anywhere that someone is willing to understand what it means. Now not everyone wants to listen and this usually will quell that disagreement of not hearing your side of the story.
The line is one to slid up to someone directly, looking them in the eye, and to be used upon a major request on their side. I say used upon, because its like throwing water on a fire, you can really douse their argument.
The line is meant to say, I know what you’re doing here, and I want you to know that I do. And furthermore, I understand that you know that now, and I know that what you are doing could hurt me. You’re not the type of person to push something on someone that is going to definitely hurt them, are you? Now with that implication being made, you are ready to counter their proposed conditions of satisfaction with your own, and the ball is in your court.
Make your proposal and be prepared. To take it all if you can. Never flinch after this line when you see the other side just cave into whatever you were suggesting in the first place as your best possible scenario that you may have never prepared to win on in a million years. If they see this “OMG” type of reaction, “they actually fell for it, it actually worked”, they will recant and push their offer on you of bad terms. Be warned.